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Expect the process of reconciling with your ex boyfriend to have ups and downs so that you will be prepared not to be disappointed because after all we are all human.

Reconciliation rarely occurs in one smooth upward spiral. There are breakthroughs, setbacks, moments of grace, and times for sheer grit and true determination. Reconciliation is an ongoing process and you have to keep working at the relationship. You will always have to keep listening and be aware of the impact of your behavior. You also have to watch for reversals.

You can never rest on your laurels no matter how much you’ve attained with each other it’s easy to lapse into disappointments. Chances are you will fall right back into the murky pool of hold habits and before you know what hit you will find yourself once again trapped in the instant replay of all the negative dynamics of your ugly history.

If you are not on your toes then it takes only a series f little events to get you spinning in a backward trajectory and once you get stuck there it will take a lot of talking and thinking and rehashing to get back to a conscious clear, adult relationship. Be careful not to fall in to that trap where after you just made peace with your opinionated ex boyfriend you are tempted to fall back into fighting over your differences. It is not worth it and you must put a stop to it.

Instead of arguing with your ex boyfriend just present your case in a different light without offending him because this person may have a completely different view from yours. Don’t let old feelings and long-simmering resentments transform into open warfare. Do not tell your ex boyfriend that he is wrong about something, just show that your view and experience is different. That’s all it takes to avoid a bitter fight.

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